.the .time .where .all .will. grow

hi everyone... miss u guys so much

2006-06-18T23:39:00.000+08:00

lala... long time no blog le.. now jun hao at korea.. pang seh me in this lonely isle surrounded by lonely seas... curse you bread-man =]..

well... i long time nvr touch com... typing feels funny... so many sec 1 tag here but i nvr reply haha... sry sry sry... u guys or gals muz take care of yourselves worx.. if u all wan... you all can sms me at my number...

81632818...

i play maple alot.. so i suggest that u can play maple for the sake of contactin me... world is Bootes... channel is 16... character name is Sbandito... best fren is HolyGlory... if u tell him u r my fren... he will tell me de... and then maybe i will log in lorx...

haix... i missed the Tetra camp... coz i was banned from going out to band as well as using the computer... handphone oso cannot use... its prison in my home... i missed i think... 4 band pracs and now attendance from 100% to maybe 86%... i dunno... well who cares? not my fault.. my parents...

now i complain =] matthew has been bugging me ever since sec 1.. he's been wanting me to leave band so that there will be no one to stop him from flirting..

but... i tell you matthew.. i will NEVER leave band... k?

bb

nth to say except... thank you vivian mei mei =] for tagging so many times

My Love For The 4 ppl I Luv The Most

2006-03-05T12:21:00.000+08:00

I noe..everything has to end...i've lost all the trust i've given to everyone...but only 4 stood trial...they helped through times of crisis...they didn't backstab me...they didn't give up till they saw a smile on my face...

They lasted for more than a year...they gave me joy when ppl hated me...they consoled when i cried...they scolded when i betrayed...they made fun of me when i thought i was good...they maintained my dignity...my smile..my laughter...the truth...such ppl like these...deserve more than just attention...so i love them more than anything in my life...

But i noe...tat the 4 of you will leave me too...one day...but the 4 of you must noe...tat i will nvr forget you...i luv the 4 of you alot....

sry for not posting a very long time...

2006-02-10T14:37:00.000+08:00

da jie... hehex... i luv you alot...alot alot alot.... =] =] =]

so cute la you da jie !!! so cute !!! pinch !!!!

Hey guys...miss me?? hehex....i guess i really haven't post for a long time...

its streaming year..and i guess i can't really do much on the comp...

=].. i've been missing tags from ppl for a long time...

I'm a sec 2...and to tell you the truth..i hate the sec 1's...some...

They have no respect for their seniors...espiecially ming jie...

Wo bi ni da san shui !!! go to hell ming jie...go to hell....

Glad that the seniors are ok....really...i'm happy for all of you...

hehex...then horx...theres one more thing...

If jennifer leaves the band..then i'll be leaving too...

I don't want anymore broken hearts already...

thats all..she leaves...i leave...

lalalalalalax...hehex... =] have a good day...

matthew...here is the pic...make use of them...kk?

2006-02-03T19:51:00.000+08:00

ToDay's CHARLES"S b 'day

2006-01-10T12:30:00.000+08:00

When you guys read this...make sure you wish charles a happy b'day....

Guess what...jun hao is going out with him to celebrate...and i don't even think i got the time....only jun hao...haiz...what a loyal junior he is...if anyone hasn't miss this msg by 1.10pm today.. maybe you can come join us...

the more the merrier...don't disappoint a guy that has never disappoint anyone before... =]

I guess my posts are getting shorter everyday...i've got nothing to type...nothing to think about....its all crap in my head..band band band...its all inside...

i polished my horn...hope you guys can bask in the glow of my shiny new-looking horn....haha....took 2 days...phew...you should polish too...it works like magic...

I'm broke at the moment...gotta wait for 1 month to get $300...1 month...so long...gonna die...

I'm playing this lame game called runescape...cuz i got nothing lame to do in my very lame life...juz lame stuff...lame lame lame...

Boring.....haiz...boring... =[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[

School day's...holiday's...haiz...nothing to do !!!!!

Nothing lame to say liao....bb...

remember this day??

2006-01-07T15:12:00.000+08:00

if you guys got anything to say...put on junhao's blog...haha... =]

P.O.P long long time ago...i remembered this fly that flew around aaron...lol....he stood so still... hahahahahahahahahahahahaha !!!!! =] don't tell him

at least i changed the skin...

2005-12-29T10:49:00.000+08:00

Did you know that that girl looks like jennifer?
i thought she made this skin...lol...

oh ya...i'm tired of this song...plz recommend a song...plz plz plz plz plz....i'm so tired of it !!!!

arrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh!!!!

see you next time

hey guys...i'm back...no more stress...

2005-12-10T13:31:00.000+08:00

hey guys...i've been missing all of you...i didn't realise that so many ppl went to hong kong...no tags on my blog since departure...wow...

If you guys have some interesting stuff to tell me...tell me kiex..?

glad to hear from you guys..

i can't wait to be a sec 2...can't wait to have junior's...i want my sec 1's to be the best among all !!!!Mwuahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! joking lah...

Then can anyone tell me how hai qing behaved...? hmmm...i trust jun hao on this one...

during my week off...i got all my thoughts away...so now...i've got nothing in my head...you know what i mean....

oh ya....does anyone want to go shopping for clothes? I have a shortage of wears' here...only got one "no rules" shirt....it saucks!!! gotta buy more!!! more!! more!!!

oh ya...everyone is invited....and don't complain when i wear the only shirt i like....can't blame me...it's the only one left...haha!!

and...i've been gaining weight lately...can't stay too thin...hmm...guess you guys are not interested in the inner part of me...

haix...i miss everyone...especially da jie and er jie and jie...so many jie...no kor...

anyone read this...call or tag or sms me ASAP!!!! I want to hear from you guys ok?

Kisses and hugs... =]

i never skip band...so if you think like that shut your mouth!!!

2005-11-10T14:14:00.000+08:00

I don't know why everyone thinks i'm skipping band...but i can't stand it anymore...it's so stupid...i finally realise that there are others who spread rumours...

I don't want to name them out...

I told you all i love band...i don't skip it...so stop asking me why i skip!!! I didn't!!!

I have already so much stress on myself right now and you guys out there have nothing better to do than telling everyone i skip???

Do you think that will make me feel better?

Like i said no one cares to ask...they just think what they want...

man...i have nothing to say...i'm so damn f*c*k*n* disappointed in this sec 1's batch!!! i wish i wasn't one of it!!!

I'm right here all alone at home and you guys are having fun...what's more...i'm already so stressed out and yet you guys what to add oil to fire!?

This s*cks...this really s*cks...i give up on jia ying...mie mie...liyana...khairul...and hai qing...

jun hao...thx alot...

maybe...

2005-11-04T16:48:00.000+08:00

blessings to all muslims...

on thursday...ya...nothing much really...since i'm half malay and chinese...i have to celebrate too...

i'm not really in the blogging mood lately...after whats happened to the "bond"..

I have lost everything so...lets not say anything about it...

maybe these thoughts of mine would disappear...gone forever...

or it might just stay...

I might be left alone...each year i grow...one by one everyone will leave me...

Love to me never exists...its gone...once you lose it...theres no point in taking it back again...

i've been doing nothing often...and i can't really think much...there's too much in my mind...

I'm just acting cute in front of everyone...i'm not really as happy as you think i am...

i just...act..and act...and act...

selamat hari raya aidil fitri...

i miss band...and the one i'll miss always...

2005-10-22T14:12:00.000+08:00

it's been so long i last touched my horn...i love it so much...
I stayed away from blogs for a week...haix...don know what for...ermm...
i'm not really in the mood to blog...there is too much to think about...

Although i broke with her...i still think of her...but there's nothing i can do...
I miss her so much...
I should have waited...
I should have shut up...
I should have stayed with her for the rest of my life...

Maybe it's time i take a break...since there's nothing i can do...i rather keep quiet than create more trouble...

end of year exams!!! over!!!

2005-10-13T21:38:00.000+08:00

Finally!!!Exams are over!!!
so now it's time to sit back with a cup of...ermm...coke???and relax...
Study...what study...???what is exams?studies?school?teachers?
Everything is over...everything...

Ok bro's and sis's...although exams are over...we have a big responsibility on our hands...all of us muz work hard to make our juniors proud to have seniors lke us...

Sec 2's...hmmm...still think we are sec 1's...i think that if we never grow up...wouldn't it be great???I don't feel like being a sec 2...i miss junior life haix...too bad...gotta follow father time...

sec 2 gonna be sec 3 liao...!!imagine helmi qi hui and qing yuan wearing trousers...cool!!!then the girls would be so matured...

Then the sec 3's will be ever so matured sec 4's...we can see them at libraries...everytime...i guess...

as for the sec 1's...as in me too...we are growing up...growing and growing...well...i'm not too happy...

next time... mr lim will be scolding us already...hahax...good luck for your SYF!!!

i miss band...alot...

2005-10-10T16:50:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling quite happy today...but i really wish that band would start right now...i'm tired of sitting down everyday for our exams...in the end my whole class has to sleep for like...45 minutes...?

This really isn't what i had in mind about end of year exams...is anyone up for a trip to marina?a concert at the esplanade?movies at shaw? or maybe...

START OF YEAR COUNTDOWN!!!

but it would be really crowded...
i have been there ever since i was born...watching the fireworks leaning on the merlion...cool...if i was with my friends...wouldn't that be great?up to you guys...

i miss my horn...personal horns don't really have the pride it has to own school property...its totally different...hope you agree...

i'm thinking of learning gu zhen when i am 17...well...it's kinda nice...ask edward...he plays it...

My piano is gonna break down any moment...haven't been touching it a long time...don't ask what is my grade...ask someone elso...someone like matthew...

well...i really miss band...can someone plz change the band tee...?
Trust me...alot of ppl hates it...those ppl keep on bugging me...

somebody: hey nickki!!!this band tee so big....
nickki: why did you choose it?
somebody: for heaven's sake!!!this size is XS!!!
nickki: that's the way it is right???
somebody: So? that doesn't mean it does not need amendments...
nickki: are you telling me this cuz you think i can solve it???
somebody: I didn't say that right???
nickki: you might as well talk to the teachers...by the way...
somebody: ya?
nickki: don't expect anyone to side with you for now...especially when mr lim is around...
somebody: ya...wadever...

although...it may sound like hai qing...it isn't him...so don't bug him ok?

see ya!!!

what a paper

2005-10-06T14:00:00.000+08:00

You wouldn't believe it but sec 1's paper was easy...but...i think i might have out some careless mistakes though...all i know is that today was boring..the whole of 1-5 finished 30 minutes early and everyone was snoring away...It was damn loud too...but for me i can't sleep...i'm down with a flu...but i'm forcing myself to come to school...don't wanna get an easter egg for my results...

Today i went out with the gang to lot 1...saw min fang and dororin...and they saw who i was with...oops...we went to lot 1 and raided (walk around) the area...we were at the 3rd storey when i saw ru yu and shouted"MOMMY!!!!!!!" I was like..."shit!!!"every one was staring at me...then i looked down again and ru yu said hi... I was so stupid...

Then i walked under the rain and i was still thinking about her...then i went back home...and started coughing...haix...kill me now...I can't wait for band and everyone to tell me how great was it at hong kong...i know I can't make it...

I'm listening to music...lalax... :grinnn: its not a smiley...ok?

see ya...might be studying at lot 1 mac tomorrow...

EOY is tomorrow

2005-10-05T17:53:00.000+08:00

Good luck everyone...hope all of you make it good!!!

Today i caught a cold and i'm stuck with it...

I always catch something before the exams...it's so horrible...

Today talked to jun hao...and he almost sent me home...only that he left me halfway to catch the train...

We discussed about drills...and he taught me lotsa stuff...what a great guy...

Haix...everyday is so dull...nothing to post...I'm beginning to think of quitting blogging...

But i have already done so much so might as well let my future juniors see it...

i'm gone with the wind... : )))

lets all put this to a stop...

2005-10-02T18:06:00.000+08:00

Everyone...lets put this to a stop...everyone's sorry but no one takes it for real...come on...i am tired of quarrels over my tagboard...
Seniors...if you were to be patient you could definitely get what you want...(us leading the band)
Bro and sis...lets put this to a stop and think about future what will become of us...if we were to continue like that...

All this fighting is making me go nuts...it's not like i want to make anyone angry...
I desperately want all this to stop...that's why i scold people...thats why i feel so angry...

All of you remember the quiet me last time right?
I miss being that person again...

Lets put all this in the trash...and pick up from where we left...

I hope everyone could just say sorry...

sorry...everyone...

sorry rebecca...
sorry ke xin...
sorry yoke lian...
sorry si ying...
sorry charles...
sorry jocelyn...
sorry li ping...
sorry cui fen...
sorry amy...
sorry aileen...
sorry zhen jun...
sorry yvonne...
sorry gang yuan...
sorry phylis...
sorry fadli...
sorry catherine...
sorry jia hui...
sorry jordan...
sorry yu ting...
sorry ze ting...
sorry dororin...
sorry min fang...
sorry meng yi...
sorry natasha...
sorry jessie...
sorry hayati...
sorry qi hui...
sorry karin...
sorry suhaila...
sorry xin ying...
sorry ru yu...
sorry ain...
sorry fatin...
sorry helmi...

sorry bros' and sis'

what is happening...

2005-10-01T09:05:00.000+08:00

Ok...everyone knows that the band is in chaos now... and ...two ppl is trying to make it right...i am sure you can guess who they are...nah...maybe not...

But now why so many ppl tag at my board?No want tags for visiting purposes...haix...nvm...

Ermm...the band is in chaos now because of the camp...where the seniors and juniors quarreled...it all started cuz off two packets of food and jordan lolx...

And next to the simple misunderstanding of not following instructions...

Followed by not respecting seniors...last of all to jordan's biasness...

We did 15 hold pumpings...and stayed in pumping position for 8 minutes...

jordan made the seniors pump for our sake...translation...HE MADE THE SENIORS PUMP FOR NOTHING...

And he made us run to ava room to collect our bags and the time taken will be what the seniors will be pumping...

I wanted to kill jordan then...but what for?so i didn't care...

there's this misunderstanding between the sec 1s and sec 3s...

Me and jun hao are trying to fix it...but we think its all impossible...but the both of us is sure that...misunderstanding can be cured if...the seniors were to co-operate...and forgive and forget...

And bros and sis...pass this message to every bros and sis in the band...

We can prove to the seniors what we are...

its just that now our relationship is very far...

If we are able to cease this fighting...

we can do absolutely anything...

two years before leading the band...

we must prove we are all best friends...

if anyone during the journey is sick or tired...

don't worry...because we are all united...

why i am like this...

2005-09-30T18:09:00.000+08:00

lolx...all of you are wondering why i am like this...

Apparently...some ppl just don't understand me...

If you were me...you will feel yourself in pain...of what?

of ppl who doesn't care about you...they just don't care...

like rebecca said...is history repeating itself...?

well...i'm clueless about this but i think that the sec 3s last time didn't get along well...

its so obvious that lots of seniors are avoiding me...what for?

i'm ok with it actually...i don't mind...you can don't talk to me...don't look at me what ever!!!

But like i said i am willing to be your junior again...i can change if you want me to...I'm willing to kneel in front of you to say sorry...

don't want har?then you can just leave me alone so i can cause all the band to fall...because there were no seniors to teach me what to do...and i'll be misleading the band...

The band is in chaos now...the seniors are the only one who can save the band...it can't be the sec 1s right?

You thought us every single thing we know right now...and now you abandon us?

Its so out of your mind...we wanted to thank you...but you and your "sec 1s...you broke your promise" thingy...is breaking us apart...

You should have known this before i typed this out...its not like you are dumb right?in fact all of you are very smart...all of you aced the etudes, major scales and so on so fast...we are not like you...we are still slow cuz maybe we are taking these for granted...

thats all i want to say...see ya

f**k off

2005-09-28T21:07:00.000+08:00

Hey get lost kid...

Who asked you to come here and critisize me...?

Who the hell do you think you are...?

ahem...thats what i wanted to say during the camp...

my bros and sis are already on the edge and plans to sabo the band...hehex...

fun...isn't it...then when mr lim ask why...we say aiyah you don't need cruddy useless playless etudes in the band wad...

Awww...so touching...Go To Hell....

So what if ppl hate me...?all those who hate me don't understand me...

So..... @#$% off...get lost...i don't need any sec 3s...

want to give me pumping har?pump lar...

Pump till i die...juz one thing to say...i go heaven you go hell...hahax...

Ermm...lol...band is nice...but when there are seniors who likes to fool around...go on...you show atitude...we show attitude...to hell with the aftermath...

I say finish already...so now all of you can get lost...see ya!!!

Sorry

2005-09-24T08:17:00.000+08:00

Sorry if you were waiting for my posts...i have no interest in it anymore...

Theres too much too think about...but i can't put it down...

I thought blogs could help me...but it can't...

But i am willing to carry on blogging...

Haix so much things to do...

My revision for exams are done...i've revised so many times already....

Its about time i take a rest....

....(Still sick)....

well...there are so many things to say...but i don't want to type it out...

ermm...see ya... : (

ermm...band today...yar...

2005-09-19T20:58:00.000+08:00

Today..was ok...i saw nathasha so sad...so worried for her...i see her i myself feel like crying...after what happened during the camp...i don't have the mood to play around...juz wanna sit down...

Whoa...i sms nathasha...in the end met her outside my class...i was like.."wat the"...i very pai seh...

Today...band ok lar...miss...dar dar...alot...still worried about nathasha...she every time she say ok...but in fact she is not...
I had always wanted her to be happy...its possible...i know she can do it...she's my second dajie...hehex...so happy...juz hope i could make her happy...don cry hor..nat...alot of ppl love you...including me...

hehex...

Losing touch with my first da jie...min fang...don't leave me...

CaMp...

2005-09-17T19:22:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone...let me tell you EVERY SINGLE THING...about the camp...
Starting with....
My dad sent me to school...read my messages and forgot to reply ains message...
went up to put camp bags in the room...in the end...left it outside so seniors could help us bring it in...i wanted to help but was turned down...
then went for assembly...

blah...blah...blah...

I was waiting in the classroom...for lessons to finish...
the bell rang...joy at last...

I ran up the music room with matthew...with my second campbag and dashed to the music room...
Couldn't find my first campbag because it was put in the room labelled school bags...haix...they couldn't tell the difference...

And then they asked us to fall in...in the parade square...
Followed by setting up for combine...

Then drills again...this time they taught us how to report strength...me and jun hao had to fall out to help miss low carry potted plants...but in the end don have...hahax....

Had our lunch...at least i think it is this time...

After that...a guest from bangkok came to perform...and we attended his masterclass....what a pro he was... :)

I.Cs of that day was qi hui and an yu...

during night...we played the weather game...we were supposed to be blindfolded...and holding each others shoulders and guided by "trusted" ex-co's who poked us along the way around the whole school compound!!!

Then we bathed...fadlhi saw my figure and complimented...hahax...well of course...clothes on..im more sexy in PE attire...hehex...:))))

Then another game...eggy thingy...we were suppose to secure a raw egg with materials provided...hehex...at least ours didn't break...hehex...

After that we set up our sleeping bags for the night...and watched a movie half asleep...haix...cannot sleep so asked I.C. whether can go out...3 minutes...around the school...half of it i mean...so damn cold...my feet were numb...oh ya...the movie was lame...so damn...lame....

Morning...yawn...had our breakfast...hmmm...sore throat...*cough*...played another game...don know how to explain...hmmm...

First start with benches...need to run across...then 2 benches for commando crawl...another two for rolling...and another two for sliding our butts...

it was so silly....

Next station to be blindfolded and guess what was being put into our mouths...

third...to go through a "spider web" with limited amount of entries and toxic wires...you know what i mean...

Had our lunch...kena scolded by jordan for wasting food...lecture and lecture...sec 1s cry...i didn't cry now only later...

had a little talk at the canteen...the sec 3s were talking about us i don know why...

we were talking about why we liked band...hehex...so funny...

We went up...oops...alumnis did came earlier to join us for combine...hehex forgot..

Now we went up and fall in outside red cross room...and we pumped...jordan called the sec 3s to do our pumpings for us...thats when i cried...

Jordan said that the seniors were to stay in that position until we get our camp bags in the AVA room...that was when i was the first to leave and arrive...the area outside red cross room...i could not stand seeing seniors being punished...

In the end...we made a skit...and everyone laughed at ours cuz...not becuz we were funny...it was meng yi...hehex...so cute...!!!She made me cry...hahax...of joy...

I managed to "do" a proper goodbye with ain...you want to know har?Its none of your business...hehex...:)...

oh ya...plz tell everyone that i am a fan of wasabi and wasaba...hehex see ya...

thats all about it...love ya...*muack*!!!

toO BaD For Me...

2005-09-14T17:49:00.000+08:00

Haix...so stupid of me...today wanted to give her a kiss...but in the end she avoided me...and...she said that charles was there...well its not her fault...is i too useless...i so stupid...yup...

Oh ya...if any one want to cheer me up...plz tell me...face to face...don be like some stupid idiot typing my problems in the tagboard...i don't want it in the place where i chat with my beloved bandmates...

and ermm...carrom was fun today hehex...beat regina in a contest...hahax...

haix...keep thinking about her...dunno for wad...but don worry i learned how to stand alone...(but i still need her)...hehex... ((((((:

todaes group meeting was like so...hmmm...ok lar...hehex...
I helped with the flag...hehex...100%....and it turned out colourful...

When i look at you....I knew you were smarter than me.......once...hehex

hmmm...nice skills!!!

2005-09-13T20:03:00.000+08:00

To tell you the truth...i hate bowling alot...although i can do it well enough to make my team lose a few points...
i still managed to execute three strikes and eight spares...
And i am amazed by the skills of rebecca which gave me a shock!!! hehex...
Did i mention suhaila was good too...well at least she did her best...is not like i can strike 3 in a row...her score was far greater than me...hehex...
ermm...sorry i did not post anything...i was "busy"...sort of...hahax...
And i am so happy today...not because of bowling but hai qing pai seh himself...sign up say he know how to bowl...in the end...cannot bowl...but in the end...someone took his place...i so stupid...i want to sign up keep on forgeting...

oh ya... first place is kai shen...
............ fifth place is matthew...

so proud...of matthew...surprised of kai shen...

My bowling sux...i used an 11 kg bowling ball...and have to bowl...on a 15 metre alley shorter than the one in bpp...and the lane i was using is tilted...

Min fang gave a slow "throw" and it went dead straight...juz before it touched any pins...the ball swerved to the right...i was like..."wat the f***"...so i had to give an extra push on all the shots...to make it go straight...haix...so stupid of me...

And...i had so much fun...hehex...signing off kiex? see ya...

I LoSt HeR ToDaY...SoRrY ChArLeS...

2005-09-10T20:46:00.000+08:00

x_`_`_` An End To OuR ReLaTiOnShIp `_`_`_x

Sorry charles...

I lost her...she's not coming back...haix...the reason is that her parents restricts her to stay with me...
Her parents read her messages...its not her fault...shouldn't have sent her so many stuff...
My FauLt....my fault...

She is not coming back...she is not my wife anymore...so what you want me to be charles?your god-bro?son?

I don't know...i can't be your son-in-law already...

Gonna miss all of my relatives...haix...only got sisterz...MUM and DAD ...

Well...too bad...

Haix...my fault...my fault...

horn pic...

2005-09-10T13:06:00.000+08:00

fidah and me!!! what!?I'm the only regent bandmate?
I am so PROUD of this moment...!!!

i'll miss you forever...

2005-09-10T12:19:00.000+08:00

Although...you are out of my reach...i will not forget you...

I still love you ok?

Don't worry....

Like i said...you are locked inside my heart...

I love you...

SORRY TO REBECCA AGAIN...hehex...

2005-09-10T11:10:00.000+08:00

Sorry rebecca...hehex...i was so sad...that we started this quarrel in the first place...haix...so stupid of me...

I have important things to clarify...if you want to tell something to the sec 1s...its better to say it out loud...because...only 5% of the sec 1s have blogs...hmmm...this years batch are not in the "got to get a blog" mood...

And don't you think hai qing is very...ermm...i'm sure you know...its just that...
he is so...copycat...he hates backstabbers but he is one himself...
he hates heartbreakers?he doesn't have a soulmate...
he hates copycats...he is one himself...
he hates betrayers...well...he betrayed me...
he hates idioctic ppl...you can see very clearly it's only him...
he hates complains from freekos...well...hai qing...i HATE complains from you!!!

Haix...he acts like he is very sad in front of the seniors...
In fact he is not...you see him always around with the seniors but he never talks...
He juz acts sad...waiting for ppl to sympatize him...
Like... "hai qing...why you so sad?Come i go home with you..."suddenly he smiles?
Why that is so act lor...I cannot stand it already...
Hai qing...i would rather you shut your mouth than telling ppl what to do!!!

I am resting................thinking of her......

for hai qing then rebecca

2005-09-09T22:21:00.000+08:00

I want to kill you hai qing..!!!!you very copycat you know?Rebecca type a post you type the way like hers...did you know that you are talking to the sec 1s?you are not in charge here...you are not even giving us a choice...haix...at least rebecca give us a choice to change...

ARE YOU TRYING TO ATTRACT ATTENTION?I CHANGE MY BLOGSKIN TO MIN FANGS ONE YOU OSO WANT TO CHANGE...HAIX...GET OUT OF MY WAY...!!!

rebecca...i don't hate you...why are you so angry?

Don't tell me you always behave like this...

You didn't even look at me during my sectionals when you walk past...

And...what is happening?

Juz let you know that...i really don't care now much about band...

You forced me to think of it this way...i loved it so much and now...

Hmmm....what a difference...

nvm...Juz want to say i still treat you as a senior...the respect...bond...love...is still there...but i am waiting for you to forgive me....

[I].[L]ove.[Y]ou.[V]ery.[M]uch.[D]arling.

2005-09-09T20:51:00.000+08:00

Darling....this post is for you...i am starting think alot lately...

Its all about you that i think about...

If another week goes by without you...

I will miss you so much....if you don't reply my messages...

Plz tell me whats wrong...or i will never know...

Are you avoiding me...?Don't do this to me plz....

I can't take it any longer....i can't call you....

What do you want me to do....? [sob]....haix...

I cannot leave you again...I WILL NOT BREAK WITH YOU!!!

Don't leave me...plz...Ain...

Ermm...about today...i still feel giddy...i don't know why...double X-ray scans...i feel so drained...
I thought a vampire took life out of me...
muz be suhaila...she takes life out of me...whenever her two canine teeth shows....hehex...

Or the other reason COULD be that...
x____I am thinking too much of darling____x
x____Suhaila really is a vampire____x
x____or the double X-ray scans____x
x____staying under the sun too long during drills___x
x____Or i am really thinking of my darling like...too much____x

Today drills was tiring even though i was resting...even sitting down makes me tired...this sux...
I can't do drills!!!My favourite session in the band is now out of my reach...
But i still love combine...

Disgustng things are...
x___when i emptied my third slide of the french horn...green algae spattered on the floor...EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW......yucks...the sight of it makes me wanna puke...

well got nothing to say....hmmm....see ya on monday when stupid school reopens...

2005-09-08T19:56:00.000+08:00

Oh...why you so sad da jie...?cheer up kiex?don worry...your small little brother...is here for you...if you are sad about...you know rite?then you can call me and i will talk with you kiex?
DA jie ( min fang ) ...if you cry you will make me cry too...hehex...(sob)...i cannot type too mushy things here cause my parents around...but i love you too but i love ain more...but don't despair kiex?you have a room in my heart too...hehex....this already too mushy...hehex...

hmmm....about today band very exciting...hehex...i am free of diseases!!!I went for a full scan of my body....totaal freedom...

LALAX...today play incantation and dance....the king and i....samba de loves you...and i forget already hehex...and today i play...the notes like its so....out of tune...i not saying i am very good or what so ever...but today i play EXCEPTIONNALY....ok...incantation i play ok...
the... ohya...festival march was great...i played ok...for samba de loves you i played the best among all the songs today cause my dear sweet sweet darling ain lent me the cd and i download it to windows media player...i now can listen to jupiter,,,september,,,samba de loves you and bravo brass...and loads of other songs...but...i don't know what are the names...

hmmm...min fang da jie...don't be sad kiex?cheer up...hehex...don't let me down...shhh...don't tell anyone...i LOVE you min fang da jie!!!!!!

Ain...to tell you the truth i am very shy these days but i love you very much...SwEeT SwEeT DaRLinG....very very much...if you got anything to say...i will call you...ok?hehex...

love you loads...

sorry rebecca

2005-09-06T22:04:00.000+08:00

Sorry rebecca...i didn't mean to hurt you or anything...i just have to splat it all out...its all my fault kiex...next time pinpiont me out and say that i am the one...when you say sec 1's it might hurt them although its not them...its me right might as well put my name...ok?

Its like what i said....people get the wrong impression of the sec 1s...we are jealouS... yes i agree...rebecca...when you were an OC...were you anxious..?You thought about the future right?on what you will become...right?well...its what the sec 1s think now...on what they are going to become...

yes...i agree the sec 1s get jealous...who doesn't?And about the rumour thing...erhem...there is one part where you state that blaming someone who started the rumours is more shameful than speading rumours itself...well...most of it are agreeable...

If someone..were to spread rumours to say that you had always wanted to the top person in the band...and you had to thank all the tiny people you stepped on to get to the top...

wouldn't it be hurtful?Would you complain...i know you won't cause the sec 3s are tight...

compare the sec 1s and sec 3s...tell me who trusts each other more within their own batch?
the sec 1s are at the losing end...we are not as close as you think we are...people still hate each other because of relationships...arguments...over small stupid matters...
(I AM NOT GONNA MARK OUT ANY VULGARITIES...)

When you hate someone...you have the temptation...to

scold him...

you sickening son of a bitch...who let your ass out here in the first place?
get lost you bastard!!! You fucker!!!You don't belong to regent wind symphony...get lost forever!!!Don't make me see you again or i'll kick your ass!!!

I faced insults before and learned to tolerate...pinpoints...so if i make you angry...pinpoint...
don't use the term they or sec 1s again...its not their fault...its mine....

Well...ok...i know this may sound like a self-sacrificial thingy....
BUT I DON"T EXPECT YOU TO SAY...OH NICKY YOU POOR THING...
DON WORRY KIEX...?

I don't deserve your sympathy or whatsoever...i am juz a useless pile of junk...

REBECCA...I AM SO SORRY...TO MAKE YOU SO...ANGRY AND FORCED YOU TO PUT UP SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON YOUR BLOG...DON'T TURN YOUR BLOG INTO SOME PLACE FOR INSULTS KIEX?

HaPpInEsS feels me up..as seniors talk more to me

2005-09-06T18:24:00.000+08:00

I put this extra large because...i feel that its very important....

i have to thank rafidah....charles....
REBECCA(she helped me alot)....
min fang....nathasha....
surprisingly CUI FEN....
again surprisingly jun hao and hai qing...
and ain...suhaila....
and audris's photos of regent wind symphony 2004 at regent bands multiply site...

thank all of you...to help me learn to trust myself...i now know that although i try my best to be the best band member that i could ever be...it still does not change the fact...that i can get a high post or something like that...i will juz have to stop stressing out myself...and stop thinking about negative sides...

I have to wait for what i get...and i promised i would not quit band...and promise that i graduate out of the band...as a respected senior...i promise i will treat the next batch of juniors with love and care...

I will make everyone my friends and make no exceptions...
I will treat everybody equally...except ain...
i have to give her special care...

I saw namirah and daihanah's photo with audris...and it reminded me to stay strong in band...because i promised namirah i would stay in band....and take care of "someone"...but i have other reasons for staying here...

i have found part of my life in band activities...its hard to forget all the things i have done in or to the band...
I found happiness when i hear music...
whether from a tuba or a piccolo....
Its great paradise to hear music everyday...
so...i WILL stick with the band until i graduate...
but i will come back for visits....

All of this help me realise that i shouldn't think too much...or aim too high a post...juz relax and await the future...don't get jealous...or whatsoever...a promise is a promise...and i will stick with band always...locked inside my heart....
RoCk On ReGeNt WiNd SyMpHoNy!!!!!!

Now to describe today's event in chinese enrichment...get ready for a whole bunch of vulgarities (sorry)

today...i don't know why they invented this f**king software...ask us to type chinese characters on to the f**king com...what for?In the end the whole class play runescape...
On top of that...the f**king com so d*mn f**king laggy...haix...so f**king angry...
And the f**king teacher keep on spying on us...today mie mie said:"wat the f**k!!!"three times today...well i want to scream something out to the teacher today...but later i scared kena big fat zero for CA...let me tell you what i wanted to shout...
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ah...feel so much better...signing off bye!!!

EMBARRASSMENT

2005-09-05T21:02:00.000+08:00

I...am so embarrassed today....cause...ain hooked her arm with mine...in front of natasha(trumpeter) ...the thing i am embarrassed about is that i wasn't the braver one who could start first...and she was the one who had to do it for me...

This is the first time...i paragraphed my posts...hahax...I am normally a very organised person...but i don't care about it when it comes to blogging...waste of time...gotta talk to ain...hehex...everyday cry to her on the phone...

today band so....hmmm....exciting!!!Thanx to catherine and natasha and zhen jun for saving the section...!!!I didn't know that scales were so important...i WILL listen to mr lim's advice...i promise that i will put scales...as the number one priority...i am so proud of the percussion members today....(sec 1)...they keep calling me "CHAMPION"i asked them why...they say i help them during my primary school where i introduced to them linkin park..they listened to their songs and said that they liked the rhythm and got used to it...and edward is one of the best to think of any rhythm because his listens to techno...hmmm....edward don't thank me...you are superior now leave me behind...

Oh ya...i thought about this a long time ago...and i would want to put this up...its juz that i tried very hard...to be one of the best band member that i could ever be....and i aim forward to be an OC or an EX-CO...but its almost impossible now...cause ppl got the wrong idea of me thinking that i very action....hai qing spread it around cause he hates me that time....now all the seniors...are having a wrong impression of me...its not what ppl think...only cicilia...zhen hui....matthew...the twins...rena....ain...ru yu...hayati....and my best friend edward...got the real impression of me ever since i became a band member...i'm not complaining or what so ever...but i tried my best to work as hard as i can for the band....i want to make everything better...everyday i practise my drills at home....thats why i can do drills at senior standard...but some seniors think that i trying to be action...so i can show off...i tried my best to make things better for the band and myself...but no one appreciates....I...even thought about quitting if i don't become an ex-co next time....because i work so hard....i practised my scales without my horn...i can demonstrate to you how i do that in school...its just that i have practised so much and i get back nothing...its very disappointing...you see mie mie...and matthew...they can be assistant group leader...means ppl...have a good impression...on them...whereas for me...yup...you know... i tried to stop becoming the right marker and give people chances to be it...but nobody wants it...so in the end someone forces me to be the right marker...and people got the wrong impression of me....haix...i guess i won't get anything in return like ke xin and min fang...they are the only people whom i see as the work hard but nothing in return people...

Some ppl say that i copy charles...yes i know...we have most things in common...like...he likes to hang around with seniors when he was sec 1...he knows rafidah...as well as i do...he has the trumpet section as his family...i am IN his family...ok ok...i know...i met ain by coincidence...its not that i wanted to follow every step of charles or something...well...i think that my father-in-law...(charles)...is a perfect role model...

well...i wish that i could be an ex-co or something like that...well signing off...charles...if you read this...sorry i mentioned you in the first place...

one whole day with ain...

2005-09-04T18:31:00.000+08:00

today morning... first most important thing to do was to call ain....second most important thing is to talk to her...third is to hang up...i played tomb raider(angel of darkness) and beach life and warcraft...and CS....then i called ain again....and cried to her on the phone....so embarrassing...but i promised those who read this blog that i would tell you every single thing....exceptions exist though... : ) ...hmmm...not much happened today...but i tried my best to blog in....ermm...i got nothing to say already...so goodbye kiex?

still boring as ever....but i hope band prac would cheer me up...

2005-09-03T23:20:00.000+08:00

early morning...called Ain...hmmm....so good can go to jurong west with natasha and helmi....haix...hehex today was also quite fun...i played LF2 with my sisters...at 2.30pm i left the house to meet my primary school friends...we went to causeway point and "chill" there...played arcade games...hehe...thanx arron for your treat...we saw our teacher there...but didn't care much...hahax...mmm...4 pm...i went to limbang to meet another friend to play Counter Strike Source.... i met Zi Han by coincidence....he was so pro in the game lor...he won me 12...out of 6...hehex....sorry for the late entry...i was crying...but for a reason that all of you shouldn't know....well...gtg...see ya...

beautiful day...nahh...maybe not...

2005-09-02T22:31:00.000+08:00

today...art lesson was so embarrassing...i had to draw a portrait of mie mie...and she had to draw mine...bleah... : P...sorry mie mie, i know it did not turn out well...you noe what i hate...?Last minuters...that stupid thomas tan....told us to bring our books back at the last minute...well its partially our fault...but he could have told us earlier....recess was great but the only thing missing was Ain...couldn't find her...haix...Ain...miss ya loads...hmmm....i cried so much today...2 reasons...(1) for people i love...(2) got to carry (heavy) textbooks home...actually..there is one more...(3) can't mix well with jordan...hmmm...the first time someone hates me for a year...maybe tomorrow i am going out...maybe not...but i will make sure to include it in my next entry...hehex...bye bye...(muack!!!) to those who wants it...

thursday...crying to go out...

2005-09-02T22:26:00.000+08:00

haix...cannot go out again!!! i don't know when i can go out... but i think that this is too much...i gonna faint if i don't see my primary school mates soon...i miss them...such good friends...hehex...too excited about the camp....why did they postpone it? ermmm...sorry but got nothing to say...tomorrows entry will be better kiex? thanx...see ya...

listening to music...hehex...yay!!!

2005-08-31T21:00:00.000+08:00

errmmmm...music..i have heard it one whole day... from the national anthem to now...hehex listening to SEPTEMBER in a CD that my darling lent to me...well..i am quite happy though...i am a music freak juz like ain...hahax...everyday talk about her...i met my teacher today...he said my favourite phrase..."wow!!!nicholas...you have slimmed down..."hehex...so happy...but i can't stay too long at the school...that ****** security guard chased alumnis out...i was like...wat the heck!!!(learned that from ain)wow...i miss her already...i met my secret admirerer in primary school...and now she confesses to me she likes me...she has my photo, my number which i never give her, my primary school textbook which i threw away after getting pissed off by my mother-tongue teacher, my neo-print, my basketball which i gave to her twin brother...boy...isn't she lucky...i only have ain's number, photo and favourite colour...hehex..what a lousy boyfriend i am...haix...i don't know why i love her....maybe i should exclude her in some of my posts....later all those who read it will go crazy...about the secret admirerer...i turned her down... sry isabelle ...its not that i don't like you...you are in raffles girls and me in regent...i'm too stupid for you...so sorrrryyyy...nicky here...and signing off...bye!

2005-08-30T17:59:00.000+08:00

everyday...i think of her ...the sadness and tears fills my eyes...the pain pulls me back...it is strong but...when she came back...the pains dissappears..when i looked back...it was gone...i wondered why this happened but it was beyond explanation...but when we talk on the phone ...the few words she said brightened up my life..."dear...you are thinking too much...don worry...i won't leave you..."i kept quiet for a moment and thought...as soon as dawn awoke...it was a new beginning for me....and the one whom i depend the most...ain....

challenging scales!!! phew!!!

2005-08-29T17:32:00.000+08:00

what another day!!!!Mr lim told us to memorise scales and play it...cheryl had problems...but she played better than me...wow! i was so impressed...she took my word for being better than me...i am so happy...suhaila, linked me already hehex...have you ever wondered what flamingblues stand for?
F....friends~i take care of... are so inseparable~
L....love~makes me more sensitive~
A....anger~does not exist when AIN is around
M....matthew~my very best and trusted friend
I....inside~of me...burns with pain...but it does not matter whenever AIN is around...
N....nicholas~trust me...you won't want to know me...
G....geraldine~my very first sister in class 1-5...

B....betrayal~is what i hate but...i have done it before...
L....lost~inside my own thoughts...searching for the perfect girl for me...
U....unsureness~is in me...wondering what my next move will be...
E....everything~that stands for me and ain....everyone that i love...
S....songs~of a phoenix...from a faraway land...searching for someone who could be her soulmate

yup...i have told you enough...if you think that i am stressed out....you can help me by a simple chat....but i only talk to people whom i trust...signing off

What a day!!!

2005-08-28T19:51:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...maybe i could go out today...im not sure either but i think i could,i am starting to miss who i broke up with?This is juz so stupid...i guess today will be better than yesterday...yay!!!band practice is tomorrow!!!wow i didnt know i loved band so much...hehex...!!!today at about 9.29am ain sms me a ''good morning''...i was so happy...so i sent another one back to her....hahax...bedok north played well...i meant their "Latin Gold"...it was great!!!Mr Matthew recorded it! I am so happy...
Part 2~~~hmmm...its night now and i am so tired...i wish i could sleep early but i can't...my body is out of control...it must have a fixed time to sleep...hmmm, so i choose 10.00pm...well...today, i spent so much time on the computer...i played games from the internet from 11.39am to 4.53pm and switched to blogging at 5.06pm to 7.51pm...wow...wat a day!!!well signing off now...(yawn)...

the very first day

2005-08-27T19:15:00.000+08:00

This is my very first day on my blog.....i wish i could go to sentosa but my mom does not allow...haix...well thats just too bad...i have lots of bad things in my mind and i made this blog to splat it all out...i have been thinkin of my relationship with ain...since we broke i got this weird feelin in my body...i don know what i am doing...everything is pointless...haix...matthew is so lucky...can go to sentosa...hope he records bedok norths playin!!!hahahahahahax!!!arggghhhh!!!this is just so boring!!!i have got nothing to do at home...i don know why i started the blog as a pinkish one..hahax...i just hope that next time i could go out...i wish i could go out tomorrow....huh...so bored...well i got to go...i got nothing to say too...bedok north rocks!!!
I LOVE YOU REGENT WIND SYMPHONY SENIORS!!!!!